The Big Bang Theory and periods

I really like The Big Bang Theory (despite its ambivalent attitude to animals, which I most certainly do not dig). One of the things that intrigued me about it in the first place is that it's not afraid to mention periods and PMT.

In fact, if you watch it regularly it's hard not to notice that these things get mentioned fairly often. And not only that, The Big Bang Theory is the one show – to my knowledge – in which the character who talks about them most is a man.

Not that the women don't mention periods – they do, but not as much (Penny mentions having PMT several times, usually in reference to a desire to eat more sugary things).

But her mentions are fleeting – blink and you'll miss them – and they never gross anyone out. It's actually Sheldon who initiates most of the dialogues about periods, and keeps them going the longest. And while on the one hand I think that this is a good thing, on the other I'm a bit iffy about the way it's done.

'Cause what annoys me is not the fact that he talks about periods, but his dramatic motivation for doing so. Periods seem to exist largely as a device by which to illustrate his 'other-worldliness'.



Take this scene, in which Sheldon suggests that Penny buys her tampons in bulk. In his effort to help Penny he makes a perfectly good, practical case. But of course that's not the point, which instead is to show his lack of social skills.

I can just imagine the scriptwriters deciding how to write this: what will make Sheldon seem a bit creepy (a word I hate)? What will make Penny slam the door in his face? Which line can he cross? I know! Make him talk about tampons!

This isn't the only scene in which he does this, and gets the same response. In this next bit Sheldon asks Penny where she is in her menstrual cycle, in order to explain her behaviour about Leonard seeing another woman:



When he asks the question Penny looks at him in disbelief, and when he mentions ovulation she slams the door in his face again. His apparent motivation here is to help Penny understand why she's feeling the way she is, although because Sheldon is Sheldon, he is somewhat clumsy. And this is where the laughs come in: once again he pushes things too far and his good intentions are lost amid the offence he's caused.

Sheldon finds social situations difficult, yet ironically periods are being used here to illuminate everyone else's unease. There's another episode in which Amy (the female version of Sheldon) does it too, mentioning that she wears a sanitary towel all the time, 'just in case'. Too much information, it grosses everyone out (even though it could be considered to be hygienic).

The message is clear: periods are no-go areas and only slightly odd, socially-incompetent people talk about them in public.

Although The Big Bang Theory is a comedy and not intended to be a reflection of real life, it's a shame that it uses periods this way. Creeping and grossing people out has its place (I like a bit of gross-out as much as anyone). And I don't expect the show to digress with detailed, factually accurate, educational, myth-busting discourse.

But considering it goes to such lengths to get the science correct, mining it for laughs, yes, but in a way that respects and reveres it, it must be possible for a comedy such as The Big Bang Theory to talk about periods in the same way as it does anything else, in a way that's funny but without the effect always of disgusting people.

Because periods definitely do have the potential to be funny, as long as it's done in a way that doesn't perpetuate the taboo.

Periods are kind of sciencey things too, although Sheldon is as disdainful about biology as he is geology, and usually squeamish about anything to do with the human body. Which makes me suspect his tendency to mention periods even more: if he's so squeamish, why does he talk about this 'perfectly natural human process'?

The message it all sends out is that men talk to women about periods at their peril. Try to do so and women will think you're creepy.

It's a message that feeds assumptions and perpetuates damaging myths. Periods are used as a soft cheap target for laughs, reinforcing misconceptions about who is and who isn't allowed to talk about them in public, which in the end is... well, no one, really.

I'm always delighted when men talk to me about my menstrual cycle. I know they are interested too because they write to me.

I think it's nice that they show an interest. And as W.S. Merwin said, "Much that is learned is bound to be bad habits. You're always beginning again." Let's do periods the justice they deserve and unlearn what we've been taught.

Talking about them does not make you a socially awkward weirdo.

Comments

Popular Posts