Why aren't periods more mainstream?

Promotion photo for Tori Amos' 2007 album
American Doll Posse. The word on her left hand
reads 'shame'.

Last week two articles in The Guardian caught my eye, Menstruation: the last great sporting taboo, and a follow-up opinion piece. Both were prompted by tennis player Heather Watson's remark that her performance in the Australian Open was affected by her 'girl thing'.

This morning Woman's Hour too followed up Heather Watson's comment with a discussion about sportswomen and their periods – how do they manage them? To what extent do periods affect their performance? – broadening it out to a conversation about why periods are not talked about more generally and openly (i.e. without euphemism).

The questions may sound simple, and on one level they are. Periods are talked about. Having started my periods at 9 I was used to my parents preparing me for them by talking to me about them from when I was very young. Since then I've always talked about periods to my mum, dad, sister, husband, colleagues and friends. In fact, I've acquired quite a reputation for banging on about periods to anyone who will listen. Most people we're close to in real everyday life are interested and sympathetic.

But I feel I have to be careful. I talk about periods with people I know well and who I feel safe with, who I know won't judge me for being weak, feeble and self-pitying, or apply the clichés: sloppy, incapable, irrational, inconsistent, unreliable... I suspect most women do the same.

The fact that we women live our lives despite our periods is proof that we are not these things, but the fear that those connotations will be applied persists – I know it does for me. As the comments beneath the Guardian articles indicate, there's a strong sense that talking about periods is unnecessary. Many people – women and men – don't want to hear about menstruation as it makes them feel uncomfortable, and as the remarks that compare periods to illnesses such as asthma, hay fever and diabetes illustrate, there is a lot of misunderstanding and ignorance. Still.

In addition, as I've written before, there's a feeling that talking about periods turns us into victims, that 'the discussion of periods is not compatible with certain strands of feminism. It’s not cool to talk about periods, we should have better things to do with our time. We should deny our bodies, be like men and pretend periods don’t exist.'

Others, such as was mentioned in another recent Woman's Hour discussion on hormones, say that periods are a 'first world issue', which baffles me. Not only do these problematic and out-moded terms contain a lot of presumptions, but quite what is meant by saying anything is a 'first world issue' is never explained. As far as I can tell it is used in discussions simply as an attempt to guilt-trip those of us who want to talk about periods in to not doing so by implying that women in the so-called 'third world' have more pressing issues to worry about. It's a way of shutting us up.

I wouldn't presume to speak on behalf of all third world women, or even first world women, but don't most women of child-bearing age have periods, wherever they live? How do we know periods don't affect them? Do they not need to manage them too? To limit them to our patronising, sanctimonious preconceptions is bound only to increase the taboo which, if Menstrual Man is anything to go by, exists in India at least as much as anywhere else.

The fact that periods aren't talked about more generally and openly probably won't help dispel the myth and taboo that clouds them. Much of the discourse is either underground, or, as Chella Quint in the Woman's Hour discussion says, led by the propaganda of media advertising, much of which remains stuck in the 1950s. To find decent, honest, informative period discussion you have to know where to look.

Twitter is one good place - search #menstruation and there'll be some great leads. When I used to be active on LiveJournal, the LiveJournal BloodArt community too was a real eye-opener (you have to be a member of Live Journal and join the community to see all the entries, most of which are not made public). On the underground scene, menstruation is a vivid and rich source of creativity. Just Google 'menstrual art' and see for yourself. It's all going on.

But it's hardly mainstream (as it were), especially with periods being things you can't normally see. Periods are mysterious. They're talked about, yes, but in hidden layers which, like periods themselves, are concealed within more layers (probably dry-weave).

It can be a minefield. Who knows, Heather Watson may have been offended if she'd been asked about her period first. It's tricky even if you're a woman to ask other women about their periods. No one feels they can ask, and women feel they can't say.

But women need to be able to talk about them on their own terms. I had such an urge to talk about menstruation that in order to do so I set up this blog, and have been writing and posting about periods since 2002. But it was always under a pseudonym. I've flown so far under the radar I'm virtually non-existent.

I was fearful of what others would think, fearful of misunderstanding, of judgement, of reprisals, of losing my job, that people would think I was exaggerating or making it all up - of all the above.

The shame was so pervasive I still occasionally get strong feelings that I shouldn't be doing this, that I should pretend my period doesn't exist and sweep it under the carpet. I've come close to deleting this blog many times.

It's partly because periods are a subjective experience, different for every woman, that it's all so difficult. But by not talking about them, ignorance will flourish – and therein lies the danger that clocks will be turned back to when women were brittle and fragile hysterics.

We have to beware that periods may be used against us. The answer to that is to talk about periods. Talk and talk and talk.

Like they have done with depression, which is shedding its taboo. If Ruby Wax can blog openly about her depression, I can blog about periods. And it's not all bad, you know. They can occasionally be hard work, but they can also be energising. As I write here, those days just prior to a period are like a chemical boost, and I can burn through tasks like a laser. Watch me.